***During a live Facebook interview in the Central PA Boudoir group,* *I talked to Mandari Noir, a local model. The following is the transcript.***

Photographer: I’m excited to have you on. I think a lot of the ladies in the group will get a lot out of what you talk about today. So, I’ll let you go ahead and introduce yourself then.

Model: Well thanks for having me. I really enjoyed working with you too. The photos that we created together - I still get so many likes and comments from them. It just made me feel like a goddess, so thank you.

Aw yay! Thank you.

My name is Mandari, and I’m a mid size model.

So, in the modeling industry, mid size didn’t really exist until a few years ago. People were like, we need a designation here because when we buy clothes, we can’t really get them at a plus size store, and when we go to a regular store, there’s not many clothes that fit us.

And when there is there’s just like a few, and so we can’t really find clothes to wear, and it’s kind of awful. And so, people started this movement for mid-size people because it’s really difficult for us to get clothing that we like that’s fashionable and fits.

So, I fall in the mid-size realm, but in the modeling world, especially fashion, they would consider me plus size. Until that catches on, I’ll take whatever people want to label me.

When it comes to modeling, basically I work with local photographers, and I’ve also traveled out of state like Colorado to shoot with different photographers. And they create photos for either magazines, gallery shows, or sometimes I get asked to do music videos which I’m very selective about. Depends on the message of the video whether I’ll do it or not.

Recently I got accepted to Playboy which is kind of a big deal for the curvy girlies. Curvy girlies have never really been able to be in a mainstream media like that. And recently I saw that they were posting women with curves. And I’m like well that’s cool, that’s new.

So, I’m going to try it. What do I have to lose? And I can’t believe they actually accepted me.

Yeah, I saw that, congratulations! I thought that was the coolest thing.

Thank you, and I do model fashion, boudoir, artistic nude, implied, lingerie, whatever. I don’t do any erotic work. I’m not, you know, nothing against anybody that does that, but that’s not my realm.

Yeah, everybody will have to check out her work. Mandari Noir, everyone can look her up, and I will post a link to one of her social medias. And like she said we worked together before, and I thought it was a lot of fun, and I’m just so happy with the pics we got as well. I posted some in this group before, and people just really loved them. Okay so talking about mid size versus plus size. Is there a size range, or what’s the difference between mid and plus size?

So usually mid size is 10 to 14 / 16, and then plus size would be 18 and up. I’m usually around a 14, so I’m right on the edge. And for anybody that didn’t know, 14 and 16 are usually the most common size of women in the United States. And it’s sad that it is so hard to find clothes that fit us, because it is the most common size for everyone here. It doesn’t bother me or insult me if someone calls me plus size or whatever.

Yeah, and I feel like labels are not the best. I feel like that’s how humans work, we need to label things, but sometimes it’s just not always accurate or puts you in a box. Okay so tell us some more about modeling specifically as a mid-sized woman. What are some situations you’ve been in, whether positive or negative, that you’ve experienced that maybe girls who are smaller would not experience?

Yeah, so when I first started modeling, I would pay photographers to help build my portfolio. So, I would go to them, and get pictures taken to help build that up. And then I started attending group events, and I found that attending group events was tough, because there’s not a lot of women around the area that do mid size or plus size modeling.

And so when I would go, I would kind of feel like I was the odd person out. And I felt like some photographers would avoid me like the plague, and some were really excited that there was finally somebody a little different to shoot with.

It was a little difficult in the beginning. I will say it really made me work on my insecurities. Especially since everybody doesn’t edit the same way.

Like sometimes you’ll look flawless, and sometimes you’re going to see flaws, because they don’t feel like they want to do all that. So, it took some time to get comfortable enough to want to share all them.

And it’s funny, because now that my mindset has changed, and I’ve done some healing, I can look back at photos that I was like, “Oh my gosh I look awful. I hope they never share this.” And I look at it now, and I’m like, "What the heck was wrong with me? I look amazing!"

So, it’s been an amazing process with growth, but I did see a need for more mid and plus size models. So, I started having my own events. I started inviting the few models I knew that were mid and plus size and started creating events just surrounding them and helping to build that image that we’re beautiful and talented as well. And we look great in photos too. So that’s been my journey.

I love that so much. I noticed after you posted some of the photos we got and you tagged me in it, I had a lot of mid and plus size models that added me. Do you think since you started that you are seeing more and more mid and plus size models? Because I see so many going to your groups. It’s really cool.

Yeah, I think there’s a good amount. A lot more people are empowered to model now. Especially if somebody’s kind of there to help pave the way for you and guide you.

And stuff like knowing who to work with and who not to work with, and how to be safe about it and things like that. So, I do think that it’s grown a lot, and it’s going to continue to grow. Because we need representation if we’re the most common size.

We want to see people wearing the clothes that we want to wear too and see what we look like in them. So, I do think it’s expanding. I’m excited about that, and I’m kind of hoping to push it in that direction too.

Yeah, I think you seem like a leader, and an advocate in that way. I’m sure so many women really appreciate that. And then I guess looking at some negative things, there’s always internet trolls and people that are just very negative and who are, I guess, fat phobic you know or whatever you want to call it. Like sometimes if I post someone who is plus sized, you get those stupid comments like “moo” or something, and its just awful, and I delete it. So how do you deal with that? Is there a way to mentally prepare that helps with that? Do you respond or just ignore it?

So, I’m not going to be the most politically correct by saying this, because sometimes if I’m in the mood - if they stoop low, I’ll stoop lower. I can guarantee you that the people that you date are your mom’s size, and I’m almost sure what size she is. She’s had a few kids, and she’s getting older. It happens to all of us, you know what I mean?

And there’s nothing wrong with that. But maybe instead, worry about your hair line and how many hours you spend in the sun without sunscreen playing golf. That would probably be a good health thing to worry about for you instead of assuming mine is not good just because I’m a big girl.

So, it is annoying when people automatically associate your size with your health. There’s a lot of different reason why women are different sizes. Like variety makes the world go round. I don’t know why this matters still in this day and age, but it does. I mean PCOS is one. I know a lot of my friends struggle with that, and they struggle with their weight, and there’s not a whole lot they can do about that.

You know there’s thyroid issues, health issues that prevent you from being as active as you want to be, having children. That takes a toll on your body, but there’s beauty in all of us, and I want women to embrace those things, and I want those things to be normal again. You know, I want women to be able to empower themselves.

Our bodies tell a story. Every scar, every stretch mark, my cellulite in my legs. The many years these legs have carried me through life, I’m so grateful for, and I want other women to feel that too.

So I usually shut them down with a comment if I’m not in the mood. But you can have a preference without putting somebody down who doesn’t need it. You know what I mean?

There’s 52,000 people on TikTok that get really excited when I post videos. But somehow you think you’re the authority on beauty. Like, you’re not bro. Nobody cares what your preference is. Not a soul.

Yeah that is awesome. 52,000 followers. That is so cool. Didn’t you say something got deleted like Instagram? You had to start over?

Yeah Instagram. I would share art nudes, but I would censor them so you couldn’t see anything. And my page was set to 18 +, but they still deleted my page. I will say that social media seems to be a little bit more harsh on women that are mid size and plus size, so if you are sharing photos even in lingerie, which is allowed on those sites, they’ll flag them, and you have to fight it. It’s annoying.

Then sometimes I’ve even duetted other people's photos or screenshot them and put them next to mine, and I’m like what’s wrong with mine? Why are you flagging mine and not theirs?

Theirs is way more revealing. So it is a bit frustrating. But yeah I did create a new Instagram account, because a lot of photographers use it for bookings, so it’s like I had to. I tried not to for the longest time, but my focus is building other platforms.

Yeah, they can be very strict. I don’t doubt it, you know, that it’s just all part of the bias that maybe skinnier women aren’t flagged as much. That’s frustrating.

Well people still treat us like we’re the blight on society, like we just shouldn’t exist. They don’t want to see us. You know, God forbid we exist, and we’re confident or comfortable.

So as a boudoir photographer, I always ask, do you have any insecurities you want me to be aware about when it comes to your pictures, and what is it? Most of the time people say their weight or their stomach or whatever. I mean all of us feel down about our bodies sometimes, but its particularly harder for women who are mid and plus size, because they get a lot more crap from society. But anyway, for anyone who’s feeling down about their body, what would you say to them?

My biggest suggestion is stop following creators or fitness influencers. If you’re a big girl, and that’s not your thing, you’re going to constantly compare yourself. It’s just what we do. It’s what we’ve been programmed to do.

We want to seek affirmation from others that we’re good enough. And that’s just what society instills in us as women unfortunately.

So I would stop following these people that don’t look like you, and start following people that you find to be inspiring and beautiful that look like you. You’ll start looking to them like, well if I find that beautiful in them, then why don’t I find that beautiful in me?

Like I see girlies with like the apron tummy, and they have the cute bikini pulled up higher on their hips, and I’m like, that is so cute. I’m going to try on one of those bikinis because if it looks cute on her then it should look cute on me too.

So that type of thing. Set yourself up to be inspired and empowered, because I feel like you’re kind of taking away from that by idolizing these women that we may never meet that standard. Our bodies just may not be that way.

That is really good advice. It makes sense. You want to surround yourself with people who inspire you, not people who might just kind of drag you down a bit. So if a woman is hesitating to do boudoir, to get in front of the camera, what advice would you give them to help them take that first step? Especially if they haven’t done it before, or they haven’t done it since they gained weight or their body has changed.

So I was the same way like 5 to 6 years ago. I came back to modeling. I’ve been modeling off and on for quite some time. And 5 to 6 years ago I had posted a picture in front of a mirror.

It was a regular picture in my house, and then right after that I reposted a photographer advertising that he was taking photos for a magazine. And then I had a bunch of people in my comments like, hey you should do that, and I was like yeah, no. They don’t post girls like me.

And the photographer was like, you should really come back. I know you feel like you’ve gained weight and don’t look your best, but you should really come back. I was like, alright. So I did it. I went back.

You really just have to find a photographer that has a diverse portfolio, and if you see their photos of other women that look like you and look amazing just invest in it. Go do it, because they’re going to make sure you look amazing too.

And a good photographer is always going to ask you what you’re okay with, or if there’s something you want to change. There’s some women who have scars and they can simply photoshop it out. There’s some things I want to empower myself with in my photos that I’m insecure about, but there’s some things I’m really insecure about that I just don’t want to see in my photos, and that’s okay.

You just communicate with your photographer. You’re going to love your photos. That’s their job. Their job is to empower women and make them look amazing, and they know all the right angels and all the right lights.

There's this cool thing called a soft box they will throw on your body that will eliminate every lump in your body. It’s amazing. So you just got to find one that you love their work and trust them, and they’re definitely going to do right by you.

Definitely, you should do it. It’s really empowering. So once I did that and posted the pictures, people went crazy over them. I was not expecting that at the size that I am. And so when they did, I’m like okay, I’m going to do this again. There’s a demand for it. People want to see it, and so I did.

I’ve heard that too. They post their pictures, and they’re like, oh my god I got so many likes from my friends. they’re surprised, but I mean there are a lot more people rooting for you than you might think and are inspired by you.

There's a lot of women that we inspire by sharing and being vulnerable than you realize. There’s been women that have messaged me or commented on my photos and said, "You have no idea how inspiring this is to me or how grateful I am that you’re doing this." So, you don’t know how many people that you’re inspiring by doing that too.

Yeah, you never know who’s watching. That’s beautiful. I love that. Is there anything else that you would like to add?

If you’re holding back on doing something for yourself, I feel like women give so much away whether it’s to be a wife or to raise children, and there’s so much love and selflessness when you do that.

But you have to do things for yourself too. So, if you want to do those photos, save up a little money every other week or once a month, and do it. Set a goal and do it.

Do it for yourself. Men have hobbies. They do them all the time. We should be able to do this too. If there’s some special skin care you want to treat yourself, you save up the money and do it.

You should value your own needs as much as what we do for others. That’s something I feel like a lot of us put to the side for others we love and care for as nurturers.

Absolutely, it’s hard to find the time, to designate the money, whatever the case is, but we have to take care of ourselves. And if you have to think of it this way, you can’t take care of others if you’re suffering or lacking in something.

And it’s not selfish to do that. It’s okay. We can be selfless and take care of others and still prioritize things for ourselves, for sure.

Absolutely, you only live once. You want to be healthy, fulfilled, happy, whatever you got to do. It’s okay. Well, thank you so much. I loved this interview so much. I loved everything you had to say.

Thank you for putting a spotlight on it, and I really hope other women do feel inspired to do this. It takes somebody. Somebody inspired me. Somebody needs to inspire you. And I hope to inspire many.

Women are amazing. We’re works of art. Our bodies deserve to be celebrated. Do it. Do it. Do it!

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Interview with a Plus Size and Mid Size Advocate and Model

During a live Facebook interview in the Central PA Boudoir group, I talked to Mandari Noir, a local model. The following is the transcript.

Photographer: I’m excited to have you on. I think a lot of the ladies in the group will get a lot out of what you talk about today. So, I’ll let you go ahead and introduce yourself then.

Model: Well thanks for having me. I really enjoyed working with you too. The photos that we created together - I still get so many likes and comments from them. It just made me feel like a goddess, so thank you.

Aw yay! Thank you.

My name is Mandari, and I’m a mid size model.

So, in the modeling industry, mid size didn’t really exist until a few years ago. People were like, we need a designation here because when we buy clothes, we can’t really get them at a plus size store, and when we go to a regular store, there’s not many clothes that fit us.

And when there is there’s just like a few, and so we can’t really find clothes to wear, and it’s kind of awful. And so, people started this movement for mid-size people because it’s really difficult for us to get clothing that we like that’s fashionable and fits.

So, I fall in the mid-size realm, but in the modeling world, especially fashion, they would consider me plus size. Until that catches on, I’ll take whatever people want to label me.

Recently I got accepted to Playboy which is kind of a big deal for the curvy girlies. Curvy girlies have never really been able to be in a mainstream media like that. And recently I saw that they were posting women with curves. And I’m like well that’s cool, that’s new.

So, I’m going to try it. What do I have to lose? And I can’t believe they actually accepted me.

Yeah, I saw that, congratulations! I thought that was the coolest thing.

Thank you, and I do model fashion, boudoir, artistic nude, implied, lingerie, whatever. I don’t do any erotic work. I’m not, you know, nothing against anybody that does that, but that’s not my realm.

And so when I would go, I would kind of feel like I was the odd person out. And I felt like some photographers would avoid me like the plague, and some were really excited that there was finally somebody a little different to shoot with.

It was a little difficult in the beginning. I will say it really made me work on my insecurities. Especially since everybody doesn’t edit the same way.

Like sometimes you’ll look flawless, and sometimes you’re going to see flaws, because they don’t feel like they want to do all that. So, it took some time to get comfortable enough to want to share all them.

And it’s funny, because now that my mindset has changed, and I’ve done some healing, I can look back at photos that I was like, “Oh my gosh I look awful. I hope they never share this.” And I look at it now, and I’m like, "What the heck was wrong with me? I look amazing!"

Yeah, I think there’s a good amount. A lot more people are empowered to model now. Especially if somebody’s kind of there to help pave the way for you and guide you.

And stuff like knowing who to work with and who not to work with, and how to be safe about it and things like that. So, I do think that it’s grown a lot, and it’s going to continue to grow. Because we need representation if we’re the most common size.

We want to see people wearing the clothes that we want to wear too and see what we look like in them. So, I do think it’s expanding. I’m excited about that, and I’m kind of hoping to push it in that direction too.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. But maybe instead, worry about your hair line and how many hours you spend in the sun without sunscreen playing golf. That would probably be a good health thing to worry about for you instead of assuming mine is not good just because I’m a big girl.

Our bodies tell a story. Every scar, every stretch mark, my cellulite in my legs. The many years these legs have carried me through life, I’m so grateful for, and I want other women to feel that too.

So I usually shut them down with a comment if I’m not in the mood. But you can have a preference without putting somebody down who doesn’t need it. You know what I mean?

There’s 52,000 people on TikTok that get really excited when I post videos. But somehow you think you’re the authority on beauty. Like, you’re not bro. Nobody cares what your preference is. Not a soul.

Yeah that is awesome. 52,000 followers. That is so cool. Didn’t you say something got deleted like Instagram? You had to start over?

Then sometimes I’ve even duetted other people's photos or screenshot them and put them next to mine, and I’m like what’s wrong with mine? Why are you flagging mine and not theirs?

Theirs is way more revealing. So it is a bit frustrating. But yeah I did create a new Instagram account, because a lot of photographers use it for bookings, so it’s like I had to. I tried not to for the longest time, but my focus is building other platforms.

Yeah, they can be very strict. I don’t doubt it, you know, that it’s just all part of the bias that maybe skinnier women aren’t flagged as much. That’s frustrating.

Well people still treat us like we’re the blight on society, like we just shouldn’t exist. They don’t want to see us. You know, God forbid we exist, and we’re confident or comfortable.

My biggest suggestion is stop following creators or fitness influencers. If you’re a big girl, and that’s not your thing, you’re going to constantly compare yourself. It’s just what we do. It’s what we’ve been programmed to do.

We want to seek affirmation from others that we’re good enough. And that’s just what society instills in us as women unfortunately.

So I would stop following these people that don’t look like you, and start following people that you find to be inspiring and beautiful that look like you. You’ll start looking to them like, well if I find that beautiful in them, then why don’t I find that beautiful in me?

Like I see girlies with like the apron tummy, and they have the cute bikini pulled up higher on their hips, and I’m like, that is so cute. I’m going to try on one of those bikinis because if it looks cute on her then it should look cute on me too.

So that type of thing. Set yourself up to be inspired and empowered, because I feel like you’re kind of taking away from that by idolizing these women that we may never meet that standard. Our bodies just may not be that way.

So I was the same way like 5 to 6 years ago. I came back to modeling. I’ve been modeling off and on for quite some time. And 5 to 6 years ago I had posted a picture in front of a mirror.

It was a regular picture in my house, and then right after that I reposted a photographer advertising that he was taking photos for a magazine. And then I had a bunch of people in my comments like, hey you should do that, and I was like yeah, no. They don’t post girls like me.

And the photographer was like, you should really come back. I know you feel like you’ve gained weight and don’t look your best, but you should really come back. I was like, alright. So I did it. I went back.

You really just have to find a photographer that has a diverse portfolio, and if you see their photos of other women that look like you and look amazing just invest in it. Go do it, because they’re going to make sure you look amazing too.

You just communicate with your photographer. You’re going to love your photos. That’s their job. Their job is to empower women and make them look amazing, and they know all the right angels and all the right lights.

There's this cool thing called a soft box they will throw on your body that will eliminate every lump in your body. It’s amazing. So you just got to find one that you love their work and trust them, and they’re definitely going to do right by you.

I’ve heard that too. They post their pictures, and they’re like, oh my god I got so many likes from my friends. they’re surprised, but I mean there are a lot more people rooting for you than you might think and are inspired by you.

Yeah, you never know who’s watching. That’s beautiful. I love that. Is there anything else that you would like to add?

If you’re holding back on doing something for yourself, I feel like women give so much away whether it’s to be a wife or to raise children, and there’s so much love and selflessness when you do that.

But you have to do things for yourself too. So, if you want to do those photos, save up a little money every other week or once a month, and do it. Set a goal and do it.

Do it for yourself. Men have hobbies. They do them all the time. We should be able to do this too. If there’s some special skin care you want to treat yourself, you save up the money and do it.

You should value your own needs as much as what we do for others. That’s something I feel like a lot of us put to the side for others we love and care for as nurturers.

Absolutely, it’s hard to find the time, to designate the money, whatever the case is, but we have to take care of ourselves. And if you have to think of it this way, you can’t take care of others if you’re suffering or lacking in something.

And it’s not selfish to do that. It’s okay. We can be selfless and take care of others and still prioritize things for ourselves, for sure.

Absolutely, you only live once. You want to be healthy, fulfilled, happy, whatever you got to do. It’s okay. Well, thank you so much. I loved this interview so much. I loved everything you had to say.

Thank you for putting a spotlight on it, and I really hope other women do feel inspired to do this. It takes somebody. Somebody inspired me. Somebody needs to inspire you. And I hope to inspire many.

Women are amazing. We’re works of art. Our bodies deserve to be celebrated. Do it. Do it. Do it!